Quick, what's an unoffensive reason your sex doll is black?
[via Bro My God]
Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
Look, I've tasted his cooking and I can definitively tell you this was the best possible outcome.
I find these much more effective than the “you park like an asshole” stickers.
Telling a drunk guy where he can't pee is like feeding a gremlin after midnight.
[via LOL Snaps]