Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
- This soccer playing cockatoo dances when he scores a goal. And your dumb pet barely plays any sports at all.
- This seaweed supposedly tastes like bacon when you fry it. Or someone's playing an elaborate joke to get us all to fry seaweed and be tremendously let down.
- The 100 greatest photos in the history of the internet. Don't worry, the one of you with 27 dicks drawn on your drunk body didn't make the cut.
- A robot has passed a self-awareness test for the first time. As long as they're all super-hot like the girl from Ex Machina, I'm cool with a takeover.
- There's a new Tinder-style dating app for people with STD's. You don't have to be lonely, at BurnersOnly.com.
- 10 most bizarre "boobs in the news" stories of 2015 so far. Personally, I think it's weird there's any news that isn't boob-based.
- Celebrate Friday the right way, with underboob!