He's like a big, veiny Koosh ball. It's hauntingly beautiful…
[via Fuck Yeah Weird Porn]
Or try the New England Patriots collectible version. Now even softer and squishier!
"Uh yes, in fact my sex toys DO hold me at night so take your pick up lines somewhere else."
[via Bro My God]
As far as she knows, this is what every man's face looks like at all times.