Good luck getting semen-confetti out of your hair.
[via Bro My God]
Tickets on sale NOW
After this coat, we just need to upgrade his AC unit and he'll be good as new.
So I guess Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease is now a legitimate STD.
Now that's a voice that will guarantee him some good dolphin lovin'.
If he stands very still maybe he won't become a nugget.
[via Sad and Useless]
Whatever you do, don't take him up on an offer to check out his "cave."
[via The Chive]
Warning: There is no such thing as a "costume safari," and if your friends invite you to one, they are not your friends.
[via Daily Garlic]
Destroy my home planet, choke me with your mind, just please don't make me listen to the banjo.