He's reading from The New Textament.
We like to make our dinner feel very important before violently murdering it.
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
At least she doesn't have to deal with dry elbows in the winter.
And with that, he packed up his dreams of being able to walk again.
People like Giselle and Karlie Kloss get paid the big bucks because being sexy ain't easy. I'm impressed by anyone who can say, "I want to rub melted candle wax all over your hot, naked body" with just their eyes. I can't even say hi with mine.
Let's check in with some other people who just can't quite nail the whole "sexy" thing. Show full post
His phone also has pool floaties, a seat belt, and an EpiPen. Just in case.
He so badly wants to blow this little dude's house down.
[via The Chive]
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web: