Just flip it back into the tub and think of the floor board debris as some kind of fun sprinkles.
That's the face of a man who's already lost a girlfriend or two to the other side.
[via The Chive]
"Oh, you want a balloon animal? Well I want to stop getting harassing calls from my wife's new 'friend' Rick about when I'm coming to pick up my stuff."
It’s okay though. Tom didn’t feel like putting on pants, and birthday cake icing gives him diarrhea.
[via Uber Humor]