Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
“Ohhhh pardon me if I don’t stay awake through this farce of a graduation. I’m six. All I learned this year was that it was fun to peel off dried glue from my hands. Yeah, that’s definitely worth a diploma, thanks.”
"Wake up, son. Later on I'll show you how to accept a bribe and maintain a secret second family."