Nice pedicure, Shaq.
Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
Shit is going down in one rural North Carolina town where Tim Peeler claims he spotted a ten-foot, six-fingered man with beautiful hair.
The creature, which has been a legend in North Carolina for years, was scared away when Tim poked a stick in his direction.
Obviously Mr. Peeler is not up on his mythical lore. What you're supposed to do when you meet a creature you thought only existed in fantasy, is fall in love with him. Especially if said creature has beautiful hair.
Come on, Tim! Put down your coyote trumpet, whatever the hell that is, and grow some balls. Bigfoot probably just wanted a date to prom or a job at Merlotte's or a glass of Butterbeer. Six-fingered giants need love too.