Docs totes slicing me open. LMFAO #NewMom
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The real tragedy is that he has got a pot to piss in, and it's just going to waste.
It doesn't transfer motion. So you can take a dump on it without waking your partner, guaranteed!
[via The Chive]
Thank god he didn't get any in that lush thicket of chest hair. There's just no getting that out.
[via College Humor]
His wife threatened to take the house in the divorce, so he beat her to the punch.
[via Acid Cow]