That explains the mother’s late night Taco Bell cravings.
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
The Blackest of Fridays is nearly upon us. Now it's time to kick your training into high gear so you can mercilessly thrash anyone who gets between you and an unbeatable price. As Darwinism clearly explains, only the strongest survive door-busting deals, and how else will you earn your child's love you unless you bring home this strangely whorey Superman pillow?
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I imagine this is how tired Ryan Seacrest is at all times.