Every morning I wake up around noon, arise from my Scrooge McDuck-esque bed of gold doubloons, push my way past the finest call girls you can find in Queens, pour myself a cup of Stumptown coffee (the arrogant man's coffee!), and begin to blog.
I only mention this because, as one of the show's bloggers, I've known how successful Tosh.0 has been for awhile. I reap the benefits every time one of you sends me an unsolicited Facebook message containing funny images of your pet. It's a lifelong dream fulfilled, really.
But yesterday, the Internet exploded with news of our recent "rise in popularity."
It all started with an innocent article from The Hollywood Reporter. By the time Yahoo TV picked up the story, Middle America caught on, and I was getting congratulatory emails from friends in Wisconsin where cable TV is held in the highest esteem, like Miller High Life and tailgate toss (aka "cornhole". Well named, guys).
The whole thing hit an Internet culture apex when we reached Perez Hilton's blog. Luckily I had a camera facing me when I saw it and now we have another puke video.
Hilton titled his post "Guess We Better Start Paying Attention To This Guy!" Thanks! We'd been waiting for the endorsement of accused child-pornography distributors who like drawing fake cum on celebrity faces. Too bad Jeffrey Dahmer was murdered in prison: He was next on the list of people I'd like a shout out from.
Let's just put all the hoopla aside so we can go back to doing what we do best… Being the greatest show in the history of television.