How else are they supposed to remember which one they love more?
A concussion is the only way your daughter will learn to always hustle down the line.
[via The Chive]
I'd rather come home to a bloody clown wielding a machete.
[via TC Mag]
Who wants to break the news to her that someone hardboiled her babies?
[via eBaum's World]
Is that any way to treat the woman you're going to live with for the rest of your life?!
Who needs ribs when you have duct tape to protect your organs? Am I right?