This is where that "modeling contract" you signed at the mall lands you.
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
Listen, those two things don't have to be mutually exclusive. Right, Alabama?
Hold the onions. Extra candle wax on my back.
[via Fuck Yeah Weird Porn]
Finally a version of 50 Shades of Grey for toddlers.
[via The Chive]