Past me is a goddamn monster.
[via Uber Humor]
If it was good enough to wear to his father's funeral, it's good enough for your wedding.
How am I supposed to pee or poo if they’re both too scared to leave my body?
“Keep pouring, bartender. We started multiplication tables today.”
[via The Chive]
Congratulations on your hot wings challenge victory. Here’s a t-shirt and a tube of anal cooling cream.