I buy my raincoats by the roll, bitch.
We like to make our dinner feel very important before violently murdering it.
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
At least she doesn't have to deal with dry elbows in the winter.
And with that, he packed up his dreams of being able to walk again.
I heart vaginal, but you don't see me writing it on my car windows. That's just tacky.
"Hi, David. I'm calling to let you know you like awful music."
[via I Am Bored]
Why not embrace the fact that your meatball sandwich is terrible? It worked for Subway.
Are you serious, dude? Are you really going to say that around your kid?
You know they never call traveling in the NBA. Teach your daughter basketball properly.
Plus you probably shouldn't be cursing around a 2-year-old.