In honor of our great nation's birthday, it only seems appropriate that we take some time to celebrate all of the things that make America so wonderfully American. It's a time of year that always inspires overwhelming national pride, which we appropriately celebrate by stuffing our faces, punishing our livers, and occasionally throwing some fireworks in the shower with our roommates.
Click below to help make the rest of your weekend patriotic as shit…
Nothing inspires American innovation like the desire to get a crapload of meat into our bodies.
"Go get yourself a toy. Daddy'll be back in four hours."
Something tells me this sentence started with "Speak American you mother…"
"I will be damned if anyone is going to take away MY right to bear flip flops!"
Just $9.99 for a 30-pack of shower heads!
Even America's greatest heroes gotta take a pee break from time to time.
"You know what that kid needs? Some fire on a stick!"
This drink holder smells like shit…
We are truly a nation of great history and pride. Let us not forget those who came before us to light the way…