A seventh grader's Facebook page is dramatic enough. But when you add a thrilling score and soap opera acting, it becomes almost as tragic as all of my high school friends' Facebook pages.
Tell me more about your baby daddy! He's not paying child support again? Fuck him and his new Camry! And his coworker from Albertson's you saw riding in it! You tell that dickwad off, Sara! I'm just going to start playing some background music.