Tosh.0 Blog

Wikipedia Needs You

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | December 14, 2009 at 9:00AM


For the past few weeks, Wikipedia has been trying to raise money via user donations.  When did Wikipedia turn into a deadbeat boyfriend?

"Now it needs you" …to give it money.

"Come on, baby.  Remember how I was there for you?  I helped put you through college.  If it weren't for me, you wouldn't of had the resume to get your job at the Bank of America.  So now, I come, asking for money this once, and suddenly you don't want to help me out?  You wouldn't be makin' that money at all if it weren't for me!"

Then you ask Wikipedia what he needs the money for.  "I need a lotta space," he responds.

And then you're like, Why don't you earn your own money?

And Wikipedia's all like, "I ain't gonna sell out!  I'm an artist!  I got street cred!!"

F' you, Wikipedia!  You ain't freeloading off my dime anymore!  Go sell yourself on the street for all I care.  Get some goddamn advertising!

No, no, I didn't mean it, Wikipedia.  I love you.  Here's a couple bucks.  You stay just the way you are.

I mean, where else can I find historically-suspect information about Rutherford B. Hayes?  Nowhere.  You're one of a kind.